Lately our cultural conversation has been focused on mental health and the ways which we can destigmatize people suffering, we often overlook those who are physically ill and disregard the various psychological traumas that can come with living with these paralyzing ailments. As for being a woman in the world in 2019 and especially in the United States, with frequent interjections of our current presidency, you’re kind of fucked. (actually don’t get fucked they might stop you from fixing that)
Being sick and sad are all on the same team as far as Rosa Mercuriadis is concerned. Earlier in the year the music manager took to the gram to launch @[SickSadGirlz](http://instagram.com/SickSadGirlz), along with graphic artist Laura Beth Schneider. The Instagram account which nurtures a community of fems has garnered a following of people trying to find support and continuously opening up the dialog to the underrepresented population. Following an entry post from Lena Dunham, the community saw an extra boost bringing them to the front of the conversation, announcing that these Girlz were here, talking a loud and could not be ignored.
Growing up with Rosa as teenagers in the backstages of clubs and concerts, I saw my friend struggle through addictions, mental health issues, as well as scary bouts with several physical afflictions. I spoke to her recently to check in on where her platform began and where it is going.
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One of my favorite memories is sitting with @laurabethschneider and discussing the story of the woman stuck in the bottom of a hole, which goes something like this - A woman was walking down a street when she fell into a hole, so deep she couldn't get out. So the woman in the hole began screaming for help. Soon, a doctor walked by, and she heard the cries for help so the doctor wrote a prescription, tossed it down the hole, and walked away. And the woman was like, cool thanks but I'm still stuck! A little later, a priest walked by and heard the screaming. She yelled up can you help me? So The priest wrote a prayer, threw it in the hole, and walked away. The woman said, that's nice of you, but I'm still stuck!! Finally, a friend was walking by and the woman yelled to her for help! The friend stopped at the top of the hole and fearlessly jumped in. The trapped woman was like wtf! Now we're both stuck down here! But the friend said, Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out. 💖❤️💖❤️ This is sort of an example of how maybe we can use this space to be either the stuck woman or the friend, love you. Sick Sad Girlz Club!
**Can you please send me deets on the group**
Sure! I started it like 3 months ago and it’s a safe corner of the internet for any girls that have ever been sick or ever felt sad. It’s gotten a lot of attention quickly, I think in part because it doesn’t address one singular topic, anything you feel we wanna talk about!
**Why is it so important to have a platform like this right now?**
Despite all the progress that has been made in women’s rights, we are still habitually told that we shouldn’t take up too much space and that we should suppress our feelings. With that said, I think the internet can be a really scary place, so my intention was to carve out a safe space for women to share their stories and be vulnerable without fear.
I have never been well. I don't know what people mean when they say "I'm fine." I am acutely aware we all suffer and I'm not some special pixie with pelvic issues, but I also know pain is isolating. And that isolation can be awful but it's also what makes me a writer and an artist and an empath. It's what makes me love to dance and paint and kiss and it leads to big triumphs and big mistakes and living big. I try and create awareness wherever I can for the issues I live with- OCD, endometriosis, Ehler-Danlos syndrome, fibromyalgia, chronic Lyme. But I also worry it's too much of a mouthful, that nobody will believe so many diagnoses because ya can't get struck by lightning twice. It's all interconnected, I explain. I'm the scientist, the historian, the comedian- just trying to figure out how. Love, @lenadunham
**How has the response been? Do you feel that speaking about it and growing the community has helped to establish the dialog and support the people who are sick?**
The response has been incredible, I think because we are dying to talk about how we feel! Especially those of us with physical, mental and spiritual sicknesses. We want that space so when we got the word out, a community spoke back loudly, which is so amazing not to feel alone in this world!
**How do you feel that this fits into an intersectional identity. Is there something we can do to get this conversation going in spaces where the stigma may be higher**
I called the group SickSadGirlz because being called sick or sad or a girl felt like majorly dismissive. So to me anyone who has ever felt dismissed fits into our world. But we could definitely be doing more to get that message across, so let’s start here! If you have ever felt dismissed for your feelings or your gender, we want you and your story and most of all we love you.
My life changed when one night while laying topless in bed and running my hand over my chest. I performed a half ass breast exam, my first ever, and felt a lump. I was 26. No family history. No gene. No warning. My wedding was three weeks away but I was told they weren't sure if I would be able to walk down the aisle. I had triple negative breast cancer. It is a small subset of BC that affects mostly younger women and often women of color. It's not talked about much but it's the deadliest kind with the highest rate of recurrence. I "lived" through it and came out on the other end without cancer. I don't consider myself cancer free because I'll never be free of the PTSD, the survivors guilt, the scars, or the image in the mirror that I don't recognize. I try and educate others but I'll never forget the phone call of my diagnosis or me curled up in a ball on my shower floor clutching a clump of my hair. If I never had to hear "at least you're alive" I would be grateful. Love, @maegmolnar
**What has the communal response been? What was the best message you gotten?**
Community response just lovely, all girls willing to show up, tell their stories and help other girlz in need. I love the community friendships that have come out of it so far! We want to do more in person events in the future so girls can feel that more tangibly. Best message was a girl telling us reading the stories of other women saved her life, which is wild and beautiful.
**Where do you see this project going in the future. Do you swing this going to an IRL space like a summit and activation**
That would be a dream! For now I get a lot of requests for a podcast or YouTube channel, so figuring out what that would look like. Focused on growing the community so we can share incredible stories from around the world.
**Do you see the people you work with in the music industry reflecting and needing this support and community as well?**
I feel like on a personal level I hear it constantly, but on a public level it’s definitely under addressed. I would love to find a way to bridge the two sides of my life and do a project for #SSGz in music to feel like they have space to share and participate
**Is there anything you want to discuss or push. Projects for the fall?**
Watch this space ;) I have so many ideas so we’ll see what comes out first!
Accurate 😂💖❤️ from our resident meme queen @kenzie.tth 💖❤️ tag your friends and lovers
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