You are sitting in a room with a former version of yourself, rewinding old video footage from your youth. The scene is just as vivid as you remember, full of solace and free of worry, and there is an impulse to dip your fingers into the screen as it replays familiar moments, wishing to scoop up some of that old glory and drink it in once more. Fragments of the past permeate the present, no matter how far from their origins one might stray. Sometimes they return in images, or melodies, or something less tangible that can’t be named in a single word. Nostalgia can be a lonely experience, particularly when it feels as if everyone else has moved forward and forgotten their past lives easily. However, the familiarity of isolation simultaneously is comforting. Reliving what is already known is preferable to venturing out into the volatile future, where there is no wisdom, control, or protection. In Bedouine’s new single “On my Own”, the singer transmits her soulful sound into musings on solitude, delving into the simultaneous apprehension and urgency that the past imposes.

What does it mean to leave something behind? What if that thing is a piece of yourself? Embarking on a vulnerable sonic journey that inspires questions of belonging and individuality, Bedouine weaves a tale of lilting vocals, emotional discovery, and sunsoaked guitar, demonstrating her proven ability to infuse music with memory. “On my Own” recounts the artist's final visit to Saudi Arabia, where she spent the entirety of her childhood, before her parents retired in Armenia. This particular pilgrimage represented the closing of a formative chapter, sparking realizations of unavoidable endings and inspiring Bedouine to compose a eulogy for her youth. In accordance with this concept, the musician returned to the instruments she explored in her childhood, involving elements of piano, tuba, and valved trombone to further convey the pain of maturity and essentiality of independence.

As endings bring finality and completion, new beginnings inevitably follow suit. The single precedes Bedouine’s fourth album Neon Summer Skin, an in-depth study of innocence and reminiscence, to be released June 5th. The release furthers the artist’s exploration of nostalgia's resonance through a ranging display of sounds, from rhythmic bossa nova beats to brooding ballads, often invoking the subject of home and her family's experiences of war and migration. In honoring these ties to the past and translating them into present feelings, Bedouine’s writing further involves her heritage and Syrian culture by referencing the symbols and rituals that are engraved in her very being. While acknowledging the ache of severing herself from the past, Bedouine ultimately finds a tendril of hope in approaching her newfound lonesomeness. She discovers that in seeking evidence of home in the outside world, its solitude and comfort has grown within her all along.

“On my Own” has a duality to its lyricism that feels both cathartic and fearful of isolation. How do you relate to being with yourself emotionally, and how does this inform your art?

I’m not fearful of isolation itself as I am afraid of it getting away from me; like going too long without participating in the world outside mine. The way we interact with our environment and people gives our lives so much meaning and it’s easy not to give it the attention it deserves. Especially these days when it’s so easy to do everything at our fingertips. When I’m neglectful of it I tend to feel abruptly distant in a way I don’t want to feel.

How does this project differ from your earlier releases conceptually? Are there any motifs that you’ve noticed yourself revisiting?

This is the first time I started an album with a subject in mind. I came home to Los Angeles from Saudi Arabia and I realized that it might have been my last visit since my parents were retiring. We only grew up there because my dad took a job as an immigrant and that was coming to an end. It brought up all kinds of feelings about home and belonging and I really wanted to explore that in my songwriting.

The album’s title, Neon Summer Skin, has a very visceral sensory feeling to it. Is this name attached to any specific memory or moment that ultimately inspired the project as a whole?

Yes! The title track encapsulates this feeling for me. It basically paints a picture of how I remember my childhood. ‘Neon Summer Skin’ refers to the bathing suit I wore that had these splotches of bright colors on it. It symbolizes the protection I had under the watchful eyes of my parents and how as a child I didn’t have to consider my own safety. Something all children deserve.

You’re slated to begin touring the day after the album’s release. Which songs are you most excited to share with a live audience? And with performing, what is that exchange of energy like for you?

I’m planning on playing the whole album down live which is a first for me, so that’s pretty exciting. I think the tracks that are especially intimate will feel good to play, like Canopies and Neon Summer Skin because they’re so deeply meaningful. I didn’t expect to feel this way. I wrote a lot of these songs on piano with the intention of having a more robust live sound but so far in rehearsals, I seem to gravitate towards the quiet ones.

The passage of time is a consistent topic throughout this project. How do you envision and reflect on the past, present, and future with Neon Summer Skin?

I have always been a deeply nostalgic person to a fault. That’s one of the reasons I knew I had to sit down and explore it, so I could let some of it go. It might have something to do with not being able to revisit the past very easily due to political turmoil. Many of the places I long for are not easily accessible the way some people can easily go visit a childhood home. My family has been split up in ways that are unique to the experience of people from West Asia/the Middle East. Also, getting older helps you understand that everyone was young once and had to learn to let go of the past and evolve. It’s like Steinbeck said, “no one who is young is ever going to be old” until you do and you suddenly feel connected to your parental figures and humanity in general.