New Frontiers | If It's Looming, It's Probably Booming
ON THE FUTURISTIC PROWL
It’s already a pain scavenging for edible biomaterials on the home planet since the Big One, let alone acquiring sustenance on hostile primordial planets in the galaxy’s outskirts. While native and nutritious algae has been recorded to exist beneath the hot clay crust on these fringe worlds, it is still essential to shield oneself from, and neutralize, the giant toxic carbon molecules which plague the barren landscapes; they’re such a nuisance!
DO I NEED TO SPELL-UNK IT OUT FOR YOU?
One of the greatest universal pleasures is the luxury to explore glowing caves that pepper rocky asteroids of the Kuiper Belt surrounding Neptune. Last year’s Supernova of Alpha Centauri B did a number! Now, the subterranean thoroughfares curiously radiate with electromagnetic currents beneath translucent limestone. Groovy. The blast’s heat boiled the calcium carbonate and regenerated it as unstable solid, and you better believe the vacationers and researchers flock here to admire this new-found phenomenon.
DO NOT ABANDON SHIP!
Technology, of course, has advanced at light-warp speed. Interplanetary travel is as accessible as ever, and Flaunt Mini-Ships are no different. Grab a hold and sail away through to the Earth-analog planet, Kepler 20f, where the winters are nonexistent, the summer’s are long and hot (809°F to be exact), and lack of ocean means perpetually rovering across rock and sand. Here’s for all you desert hogs. Do you remember the Namibian desert back home?
CIAO MEANS HI AND GOODBYE
Years ago, before the Big Nova of ‘66 and before Big Bovine’s methane took hold of our lungs, Big Gov lost their superiority to surveil and map the world to Big Tech, and Big Changes were underway. The nerds have won, re-envisioning and remapping the cold moon, Ganymede, from the rock, metal, and ice globe it once was to a giant server, swapping dust for fiber optics. The energy is bona fide, and makes Sedona (R.I.P.) and the Santa Cruz Mystery Spot look like child’s play.
Illustrated by Justin Wood