Who’s Brenda?

by flaunt

An Ayurvedic Investigation of Baptisia Tinctoria (Common Name Wild Indigo)
From: KATHARINA KNOLL Regarding: WILD INDIGO To: JASON CROMBIE

Notes: -Down on self -Who’s Brenda? -Possibly constipated -Could use more exercise/physical activity: Something to release anger/fire, then balance it with calming, soothing, centering activity and meditation -What was the cause of the hernia? A sense of strain? Constipation? -Related to swine flu; are respiratory illnesses frequent? -When you fall ill what symptoms do you tend to have? -Strengthen immune system

It seems that you might have a weak immune system, so you could possibly benefit from use of

Wild Indigo, though I’d want to ask more questions before I could say that Indigo is applicable. I do believe you could benefit from some stress reduction; whatever changes you can easily integrate into your life. It’s important to strengthen the immune system considering you’ve had a couple serious viral infections.

Your answers gave me some insights as to what’s being weighed down, but it seems you could use some support and guidance to help you get through the blocks in your life, i.e. finances, Brenda, any health concerns you have.* In holistic health practices, everything in our lives is interconnected. when something(s) is out of balance, it can seem like other areas of our lives are going along for the same ride.

I ask you this: What are your top three goals for the next six months? What’s in the way of achieving those goals?

*Usually after someone fills out a form we have a confidential session to discuss the form, or rather an opportunity for you to share about yourself—your goals for your life and health, what you’ve always imagined possible!

Kind Regards, Katharina Knoll Holistic Health Coach Behind Foods

 

From: CHAS SMITH Regarding: IMBALANCES To: JASON CROMBIE CROMBIE

Jason Crombie Crombie, as I’m sure you well know the human body is made up of the five classical elements, air, fire, earth, etc. etc. It is our substance. And when these elements get out of balance the human body has problems. You are out of balance. In good news, only two of your elements are skewed. In bad, they are, really, the only two that matter.

You list your current age (water) as 38 and your occupation (fire) as editor-in-“chef” but, if I understand correctly, you are editor-in-chef of neither Vanity Fair nor the New Yorker. Not The Economist nor National Geographic. You are editor of Monster Children, a culture and maybe surf and maybe skate and maybe street art magazine aimed at hip youth. And that is to say you are far far far far too old for your job. It is clear from both your magazine and your robust life that you have lost touch with what is “cool” and “now.” The middle to late thirty-year-old man is the cornerstone upon which all great things are built. I am, in fact, certain that your grasp on hip has never been firmer. I am certain that you are at the zenith of your creative powers. Yet being 38 and having to placate younger twenty-something boys who act like junior highers and younger twenty-something girls who insist, absolutely insist, on wearing high-waisted jean shorts is a heavy burden causing imbalance. Your water-fire ratio makes for bad bile, which makes for such a rough go. I am 37 and “editor-at-living-large” of Surfing magazine so I know this imbalance perfectly and intimately.

You say that your finances should be better. And, again, no one has ever made a fortune off hip youth magazines except for Rolling Stone’s Jann Wenner but look at him. He has, for some personal bias, kept Slayer out of the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, which he also owns. Slayer! I feel if they were inducted Slayer would cease to be one of your health concerns and become a health triumph. Also Vice’s Shane Smith has made a fortune but he is owned by Sumner Redstone.

Your current medications seem fine enough but would see a direct upgrade with a proper water-fire ratio (aka a better job) except for Nachos in a Cone. Those would be impossible to upgrade. They seem perfect.

And, so, a better job is your diagnosis. Maybe you could edit a fashion magazine? Or a digital site like The Dirty? The Dirty just brought forward never before seen sexually tinged messages from Anthony Weiner to another woman who is not Huma Abedin. I feel further undoing Anthony Weiner would be very enjoyable. You could post messages from him to Brenda. Those ones are extra nasty.

Kind Redards, Chas Smith Editor-at-Living-Large Surfing Magazine

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