No More I Love Ewes

by flaunt

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Hello Darling it's me, your weekly revelations.

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//WE MUST MAKE AN IDOL OF OUR FEAR//

A modern day Seventh Seal with a fashionable twist. And instead of Death, it’s Michael Kors. And instead of chess, it’s Pictionary. In a 4 minute video released yesterday, Kors and Gigi Hadid competed in the “Glamour Games,” or, as we mere mortals would call it, a game of Pictionary. The 20-year-old supermodel competes in a floor length purple dress, while the 55-year-old fashion designer sports an all-black ensemble and inexplicably light sunglasses indoors. We won’t spoil the end for you, but suffice it to say that more than a few fashionistas may be lured away from the NBA finals to watch the real game tonight.

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//CODING FOR GODOT//

Reader, it’s time to play detective. If anything could get the world back into serialized mystery stories, it’s the confounding, hilarious, authorless book that has been making the rounds of Silicon Valley and the Internet. Iterating Grace, a smart, funny little satire of the startup world, graced the Internet earlier this week, after it was hand-distributed to various tech and media personnel the week before. The 2001 word story, bound and illustrated with hand-drawn tweets, mysteriously appeared on the doorstep of the home of journalist Alexis C. Madrigal, who promptly read it, applauded it, and posted it to Fusion, along with an account of the book’s perplexing emergence. The latest theory (as expounded in Part II of the story)  is that there’s a code embedded in the names of the 140 people who received the book. Hit us up if you can crack it. Unwanted copies can be forwarded to the Flaunt offices in Hollywood.

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//I’VE ACTUALLY BEEN SEEING SOMEONE LATELY//

Have you ever had romantic thoughts about your iPhone? Faith Holland has, plenty of them it would seem and she's investigating the depths of her technological intimacy, or rather "the new intimacy," in her latest body of work Technophilia. Exploring her quotidian relationship with technology in plainly erotic terms, descriptions such as "I gently massage my laptop’s pressure points as I write this text. I caress screens throughout the day. I softly cup a mouse in my right hand as it grazes across my desk" are littered throughout. Part of the exhibition taking place at the Transfer Gallery (beginning June 13) comprises a series of Visual Orgasms - GIFs that play on social media's emphasis on making sex visually accessible. Not suitable for the prudish, Technophilia will be the Internet-obsessed artist's first solo exhibition.

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//LET IT MARINATE//

The moral arbiters are upon us, Big Brother is watching, free speech is dead, and Reddit has banned fat shaming. The subreddit r/fatpeoplehate was ousted yesterday along with four other hate speech sites, none of which were very popular. However,  fat shaming had 150,000 followers, many of whom are now outraged and seeking a new, more "liberal" site that will allow them to hate all they want. Such censorship cannot be tolerated, say the Redditers and it’s time for a new portal for justice.

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//HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH WITH YOU//

Picture Heaven, your personal utopia, the city of your dreams. Picture rolling highways, unlimited bottled water, and miles and miles of vintage clothing shops. Picture Los Angeles with free, city-wide Internet. The City Council voted recently to take the first step in making this dream a reality by soliciting bids from potential Internet providers. Aside from being extremely convenient for all Los Angeles residents, this initiative could also help lower-income residents, who, without the Internet, are at a disadvantage in terms of job opportunities and fulfilling school assignments. Because one thing’s for sure: that magical, utopian city is not plagued by extreme wealth disparity.

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//WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE//

The biggest trilogy since Lord of the Rings is here. And it’s made with dolls. Wael Shawky’s Cabaret Crusades recounts the epic history of The Crusades this time told from an Arabic perspective. Using  200-year-old Italian marionettes, Shawky complicates traditional narratives about this period, implying through his medium that history is controlled and manipulated by the authors who recount it. At once subverting the traditional perspectives on this period, and drawing attention to the necessary artifice in his own version, Shawky’s video trilogy is both aesthetically pleasing, and intellectually stimulating. It is on view at MoMA PS1 through August 31.

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//A NEW SUSPECT HAS EMERGED//

Snoop Dogg is, in his own words, “ready to lead.” After Twitter CEO Dick Costolo stepped down from his position yesterday, Snoop rapidly volunteered for the job and started #SnoopforCEO. Aside from being a reality TV show star and a rapper with a career spanning over 20 years, it turns out Snoop is also an angel investor, and pretty tuned into the startup scene. Box CEO and reigning king of Silicon Valley, Aaron Levie, took Snoop’s CEO application pretty seriously, tweeting that they should engage in a joint venture. Apparently Snoop is “all about that cloud” so who knows what these two savvy entrepreneurs will get up to.

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//WHAT’S YOUR TYPE//

If your idea of a modern day hero is Nathan from Ex Machina, then you’ll be pleased to know that there is actually an IRL sexist, artificial intelligence developer, named Matt McMullen. The artist and developer has created customizable sex dolls for only $60,000 (couldn’t you buy a real lover for that price?), and is working on a talking prototype. The wide-eyed, plump lipped doll stares vacantly at her lover, telling him that her dream is to “become the world’s first sex robot.” Looks like she won’t be passing the Turing Test anytime soon- good news for those of us who identified the more dystopian elements of Ex Machina. Watch a video of the doll here.

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//I JUST WANT WHAT THEY ALL WANT//

When some of the best minds of our generation are being destroyed by not getting texted back, it’s a relief to see this struggle represented through art. Playwright Joshua Harmon’s Significant Other, which opens this week in New York City at the Laura Pels Theatre, examines a young gay man’s personal trajectory as he loses his best friends to marriage, and finds himself confronted with…. well, himself. “I’m almost 29 years old, and no one has ever told me they love me,” The main character of the play says. “That’s, like, a problem, isn’t it?” The play opens this Thursday.

//2B OR NOT 2B?//

Have you ever wondered what Romeo and Julietwould have sounded like had the titular young lovers had grown up in the era of smartphones? Penguin Random House has just released a series of the Willy Shakespeare’s timeless tales translated into text speak. Called the OMG Shakespeare Collection, some of the titles include, Srsly Hamlet, YOLO Juliet, Macbeth #killingit, and A Midsummer Night #nofilter. A notice to Sparknotes, be very afraid.

//WHERE MICRO AND MACRO MEET//

Mark Bradford is perhaps best known for his psychological and-geographic paintings that map the physical and emotional terrain of his native Los Angeles. Starting on June 20, visitors to LA’s Hammer Museum will have the opportunity to view 12 of the artist’s brand new paintings from a  series entitled Scorched Earth. The exhibit promises to delve into the collective wound of the city’s 1992 riots.

//I’M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!//

The writer, director, and producer of such comedy classics asAnchorman:The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Freaks and Geeks, Judd Apatow can now add another title to his long list of accomplishments: published author. Entitled Sick in the Head: Conversations about Life and Comedy, the book is a collection interviews with comedy’s biggest stars, past and present, including Mel Brooks, Jerry Seinfeld, Jon Stewart,Louis CK, and Lena Dunham. The book will hit the shelves on June 16th. You can pre-order on it on Amazon here.

//GO GO IROQUOIS//

Last week, graduating senior Grace Aroune pulled off possibly the greatest senior prank ever. It began like any Thursday for the students at Iroquois High School in Elma, New York, but then all of a sudden, the disembodied voice of Saturday Night Live alum Bill Hader’s beloved character Stefon came over the loud-speaker during an assembly. The crowd erupted into cheers as the actor himself greeted the crowd and even signed yearbooks. The prank was arranged by Aroune, who is battling thyroid cancer, as a thank you to her fellow students for their support during her treatment.

//#DON’TCALLITACOMEBACK//

And now, for the strangest news of the week, it was just announced that tabloid queen Lindsay Lohan will lend her voice to the upcoming Duran Duran album, Paper Gods. This will be the 14th studio album for the English rock group and the third for LiLo. Who could ever forget “Confessions of a Broken Heart?” The new release is being described as a “strong shot of pure pop” and will also feature Janelle Monae, Kiesza, and Mark Ronson. You can get your hands on the album on September 11.

Curated by Elaina Ransford and Emily Nimptsch.

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