Blood from a Turnip

by flaunt

We Went out and Tasted the Freshest Cold Pressed Juices Los Angeles Has to Offer

BRAND: Pressed Juicery

NAME: Brazil Nut

IMPRESSIONS:

“Bro-nut” could be another good name. Like ham but also like frosting.

BRAND: Pressed Juicery

NAME: Chlorophyll

IMPRESSIONS:

Watermelon jolly ranchers; watermelon jolly rancher tea.

Refreshing rain water, earthy, rainforest, herbal.

Rain, plant based, extra refreshing, mineral.

It tastes like water.

BRAND: Pressed Juicery

NAME: Roots 3

IMPRESSIONS:

Ginger stands out once you know its there, like sorbet as a drink.

Ginger, the beets taste like cooked beets. Kind of reminds me of my grandma. It’s very red! I’m worried my teeth are stained.

A beetroot-laden hamburger with hot sauce, eaten by a little Australian beach town, as the waves break on the shore and the seagulls squawk like bastards.

BRAND: Pressed Juicery

NAME: Rose Coconut Water

IMPRESSIONS:

Lychee, back notes of watermelon. Hint of mountain spring besmirched by a horse after a trot through strawberry fields.

Sweet sugary candy. Air Heads Mystery Flavor and perfume. Reminds me of Britney.

Reminds me of a bag of lychees and a tuk tuk ride in Bangkok with a tranny on my knee and a fake pair of Ray-Bans.

The rose makes me feel calm and relaxed; post-coital but also sort of sweaty.

Melon. I use rose water to wash my face and I always think of it as smelling like a waxy organ. It tastes like that but with more water.

BRAND: Pressed Juicery

NAME: Apple Strawberry Coconut

IMPRESSIONS:

Berry, sweet, fructose, red fruit, crisp, tropical undertones, thick, chewy, melted popsicle.

Prune, but sort of meaty like really good juice with a cube of raw steak. Bacon? Slightly yeasty? Maybe like wine or alcohol of some sort.

BRAND: Pressed Juicery

NAME: Strawberry, apple, lime

IMPRESSIONS:

Perfect mix between sour and sweet tropical.

Sour Warheads candy, very citrusy, eating a ring pop on the playground!

BRAND: Pressed Juicery

NAME: Grapefruit and Mint

IMPRESSIONS:

Citrus, I feel like I'm drinking a Sour War Head, very sour and bitter, yet refreshing.

BRAND: Pressed Juicery

NAME: Citrus 2

IMPRESSIONS:

Split Piña colada recipe of an errant fire dancer on a contiki tour of the Pacific Isles. Bursts of mint, flecks of cinnamon.

Apples!! Some fruits, Gelson’s produce.