L.A.-based jokesters launch their fictitious new restaurant, and the menu is a must see. (Don't miss the hard opening coming up June 2021)
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Tired of hearing trendy new restaurants say "We do things a little differently here" in lieu of them saying they serve family style, believing they have tricked us into thinking this is a new concept like we've never been to a Chinese restaurant before? Well, satirical restaurant website, [Fuck Your Worries](http://fuckyourworriesla.com), is and they reminded us how we are too. Check out our mashup of London pub culture and LA raw vegan bliss from our _Califuk_ issue, concocted just for us by [_Footpit's_](https://twitter.com/foodpit?lang=en) Guy Kelly.
![](https://assets-global.website-files.com/62ee0bbe0c783a903ecc0ddb/6472ad31491f868f532b8049_image-asset.jpeg)
CAFE SERVITUDE
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**STARTERS**
**LOST deconstructed pie and mash 9**
_Small mounds of single-grain flour, reformatted almond butter,_
_powdered mushroom and a raw heirloom potato_
\[MISTING OF THAMES GRAVY +3\]
**HOMELESS crudités 8**
_Guerrilla-grown carrots, abandoned celery sticks and a_
_grinding of forgotten pepper_
**HARDWORKING pretzel bowl 24**
_Gold-dusted salt, entrenched flours and yeast closeted in a darkened room_
\[Inferior hummus dip +1\]
**MAINS**
**SURLY chip butty 16**
_Single potato oblong fried in barrel-aged oils, hollowed out and sworn_
_at by a genuine Cockney villain, served in an artisan bun_
\[Add bullied tomato jus +5\]
**ROYALIST gazpacho 12**
_Heirloom tomatoes sliced by a muscular brute humming “God save the Queen”_
_tossed with swan-pecked onions and finished with parsley_
**FRIGHTENED Greek salad 14**
_Out of place Brazil nut feta, sliced hooligan lettuce, vintage olives_
_from local producers, topped with tahini slurs_
**DRINKS**
**DICKENSIAN margarita 10**
_The best of limes (hand picked, organic, individually cared for), the worst_
_of limes (twitching, godless, tiny skeleton inside), re-aged_
_Cointreau, “salt” rim, tequila foam_
**FUTILE “will she” martini 15**
_Rose-infused gin, regretted vermouth, stirred with ice, and “no”_
**HOOLIGAN sandy 11**
_Gluten-free high-strength lager, sparkling organic lemon spritz, shaken,_
_with ice frozen in the heat of the moment_
**DESSERTS**
**FROSTBITTEN gelid eels 13**
_Traditional working class fare, sweetened with agave honey and brought to_
_temperatures approaching absolute zero to scour your palate clean_
**REHABILITATING fudge brownie 9**
_Thirteen grains of nurtured sugar, borstal soymilk, flour ground by the families_
_of convicts, dusted with unforgiven powdered almond_
**PRIVILEGED banana split 40**
_S__mall batch banana rum, cream-infused sugar syrup, ice cream flavour_
_almond flakes and a sense of well-earned satisfaction_