Sharon Needles

by Sharon Needles

Even the Name is Offensive
1.  I think it’s time for the exploitation of boys to happen. It fascinates me and the country is ready. It happened to Britney with the schoolgirl costumes and the pigtails. I think every boy and every boy’s dad wanted to fuck the schoolgirl. I think Justin Bieber is definitely being marketed to fags because all the fags want to fuck the angel boy. What else is there to do with him?

2. Nothing is really happening in the airport anyway. Thanks for asking me a relevant question.

3. The nose in photographs should be removed. I prefer the eyes and the mouth. I don’t even think people need noses. Noses are a waste of time.

4.  I am going to get plastic surgery just to get it. It’s fun.

5. No I just segued into something more relevant, my album PG-13. It’s number four on the iTunes charts right now. It’s twelve tracks of sheer pop and I’m touring it right now. I got to work with Amanda Lepore, Scissor Sisters and Jane County. Jane County is one of the first transsexual punk rock stars, and of course, RuPaul herself.”

6. Punk is dead and it’s been dead for some time. I guess the only place punk survives is in basements and in punk houses. Punk is dead and it always will be dead commercially. I think punk died in 1981. The Ramones may have killed it.

7.  I feel fat all the time, god. I just want to do all the things famous people do.

8. Everybody looks better in photographs, especially when they are airbrushed, over touched, and liquefied. There’s a lot of pressure on the industry to show people how they really look but I don’t think that’s necessary.

9.  I googled myself the other day. Or this morning. Whatever, I love googling myself.

10. Anybody above the age of 18 should be photoshopped, but not children. Well, actually, yeah, children. Make their eyes really big and take away the nose. Children look prettiest when it’s just eyes and a mouth.

11.  I don’t like plastic surgery ... I am obsessed with plastic surgery.

12. The best part about being famous is getting to hang out with all the other famous people.

13. There are too many options for noses. If you just got rid of the nose you could breathe through your mouth. No nose. Big lips. Big eyes. And enough hair for ten people.

14.  A big reason Amanda Lepore is my idol is because she is so extremely artificial looking. I’ve always been attracted to cartoons.

15. The car is your vehicle but I like paint jobs.

16.  I just made my first appointment for ReJuveDerm. I’m going to get my lips all filled out. Maybe that will make me feel better?

17. Women can definitely be dick pigs but they seem to have a smarter head.

18. Pop music is getting good again. It was bad but now it’s getting good again. It was bad music, the Backstreet Boys were bad boys and made bad music. But now it’s good. Britney Spears’ Femme Fatale is such a good fucking album! I think Lady Gaga really changed the game about making pop music actual music.

19.  I wish they could make torsos longer. Last night I smoked a bowl and got torso crazy. It’s all about the torso.

20.  I have a 12-year-old boy mannequin in my closet named Travis, and he’s constantly being disciplined, because he’s facing the wall.

21. That’s natural to me? I don’t know. I’m not really attracted to things that are natural. I’m attracted to the unnatural and supernatural.

22.  I like bad things, and I always have. I’ve been smoking cigarettes since I was six and I liked them because they are bad. I like porn because it is bad and horror movies because they are bad.

23. My boyfriend and I are getting matching his-and-his lips, so we made double appointments, we’re going on the same day, we’re going to get the same amount shoved into our lips. Doesn’t that sound fun? Just go, it’s cheap. Go buy yourself a face present.

24. News is entertainment now. There’s no actual fact now. They would rather glamorize something small than shine somebody in good light.

25. The Holocaust never did happen.

26. It seems like people are more interested in the idea of meeting you so they can propel themselves on social media websites rather than really meeting you. Fame and popularity on social media has nothing to do with sharing a small intimate moment with someone that inspires them.

27. When I was a kid I used to say I can’t wait until I’m a grown up so I can do coke and fuck. I think I was born bad. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a product of the 80s. I think I just come from a generation of brats. I’ve always liked bad things and I always will.

28. Like, I love Justin Beiber. I love the idea of goodie-good child-man stars that have angel voices. Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers, and Michael Jackson. I love them best because they always turn into weird things. Frankie Lymon died at twenty-five of a heroin overdose. Michael Jackson became a weird white woman. It’s going to be interesting to see what Justin Bieber turns into.

29.  I think famous people are aliens. I like when celebrities look like cartoons, but I don’t want my mom to look like that. Or maybe?

30.  A lot of drag queens will turn tricks. It’s quick money and we don’t mind fucking.

31.  I guess I always wanted to be famous and now that I’m famous, I feel a responsibility to nurture being famous. Once you get it you can’t let it go. I guess that could drive me crazy. But fame has definitely done something to me mentally; I don’t know how dangerous it is. I guess if it ever started creeping into my soul, and started to take me over, in a bad way, then I’d quit, and become a pumpkin farmer and sell pumpkins on Halloween so kids could make jack-o-lanterns.