I was 16 or 17. I took my mother’s car to drop something off in the post office drive-thru. I was wearing a t-shirt and ratty shorts, and she said, “What if you get in a crash and everyone saw you in that outfit?” It seems quaint now. Several years later, when I attempted suicide, I very consciously decided that I should leave a graceful and dignified scene. Dying glamorously is a privilege. It rarely happens in real life, but there’s always the movies to provide a vision of a glorious Technicolor demise. I want to be carried away by the melodrama. I want people to weep as much as I want people to scoff at the saccharine spectacle. After all, one’s own death is the greatest fiction; it can never be recounted except in fantasy.
Written by William J. Simmons Photographer: ioulex Stylist: Masayo Kishi Models: Daniele Frazier, Jason P. Grisell, Edeltrud H., Jana Julius for Wilhelmina, and El Tt Hair: Kenshin Asano for L’Atelier Makeup: Paco Blancas for L’Atelier Location: ACME Studios at acmebrooklyn.com .