Man And Listicle Embrace In Despondent, Commercially Motivated Relationship

by Oyl Miller

Number eight will make you question your humanity
In 2016, advertising is confusing.

No longer does simply creating a 20 million dollar 30-second short film, directed by an Oscar winner, do all of the heavy lifting.

There are a thousand ways to get your message out now.

Do you use them all? Which ones are important?

Fear not.

This presentation gives you ten, practical jumping off points to up the impact and disruptification of your campaign.

Pick any one of them and your campaign will generate 10 times the buzz.

If you execute on all ten of these suggestions, you are guaranteed to create the most legendary advertising campaign of all time.

Happy advertising!

1 Hire Quentin Tarantino

OK, I know I just made a big statement about the 30-second TV spot being dead. But you could still hire Tarantino to make ‘content.’ A splatter filled VINE to move ketchup packets. A non-linear 15-second Instagram to deliver a brand statement. Or perhaps you could employ Mr. Tarantino to create the goriest pre-roll ever.

Can he be hired for advertising? Well, he hasn’t been yet. But if you could get him, it wouldn’t matter what you were trying to sell, he’d sell the hell out of it. (Recommended for selling ‘tasty burgers.’)

2 Leverage a YouTube star

Give your product to one of these new media darlings and let them ‘unbox’ or talk about it or do whatever their thing is. It will make no sense to you, the marketing department or your boss, but their 18 bajilliony followers will absolutely love it.

3 Collaborate with a street artist

Here’s the challenge: You work in advertising and want to make something cool, but you’re not cool. You’ve already sold out. Luckily there’s a simple solution: Hire someone cooler than you to make all the work—like a street artist. They are cooler than everybody, including the people you want to buy your stuff.

What’s more hip than creating provocative, anti-advertising art? That’s right, NOTHING. So make work that resonates with cool people on the streets.

Free idea: Collaborate with Banksy on a MacDonald’s’ or Starbucks’ campaign. His work already references many famous brands, so it’s a natural fit to add a subversive layer of cool to any brand.

4 Send in the drones

Anything you film will look fresh and elevated because drones are still new to us all. Even newer to people outside of advertising who you will be trying to sell products to.

A couple of thought starters: Wanna sell toilet paper? Set out 100,000 rolls, place camera on drone and zoom it a mile into the sky. Publish on YouTube and watch the views and sales skyrocket in perfect lockstep.

Wanna sell photocopiers? Set them in beautiful locations like tropical beaches or those rocky cliffs in Ireland and then fly over the scene and your photocopiers with a drone. INSTA-SALES BOOST.

5 3-D Print something

Something. Anything. Seriously, it doesn’t matter what it is. 3D printing is still that new. Let people 3D-print Fabio’s luscious head of hair for a shampoo campaign. Et people 3D-print out a pair of dentures modeled after George Clooney’s chompers to sell more toothpaste. 3D print people’s Twitter avatars whenever you can’t think of anything better.

 6 Steal from Tumblr

This goes out to all you art directors out there. Spend five minutes scrolling through the Tumblrs you follow as you sip from your foamy, third wave soy-substitute Fairtrade latte. Copy the coolest, artiest images to your desktop. Open Photoshop, tweak the colors a bit, try a different font and paste your product front and center. Boom—edgy print campaign comps ready to sell.

7 Have Morgan Freeman read your copy

Even copy from the hackiest copywriter’s digital fountain pen will be audio honey poured into the ears of your target if ol' Morgan is the narrator. His voice makes even the legal and fine print of a campaign sound compelling and imperative.

8 Just crowd source it!

If you ever find yourself in the rare situation of running out of both time and money—don’t despair. You can always inspire some slave labor out of your brand followers by having them create the content of a campaign for you. It’s cheap, mobile and the very epitome of Now-point-oh advertising.

9 Honor the Illuminati

Oh, hi Kanye. I see you did the little scrolling over the web text trick and now you're reading this. Now that it's just us, can I tell you much we still love The College Dropout? Can you do more of that soon please?

10 Make a killer case study video

Even if no one sees / experiences / smells your campaign, you can still strike gold many times over on the advertising festival circuit. And let’s be honest, that’s the audience most of you are looking to reach anyway.

Let me save you some time. Use this script, have Morgan Freeman read it and use the Foo Fighters to give the soundtrack energy. You’ll be sure to trigger a Cannes Lion-polooza come industry awards season.

Script template:

For the launch of the (brand) (product) we created (campaign name).

To celebrate the (product’s) (benefit) we did something very special and unique that totally wasn’t like advertising at all. We disrupted perceptions and created an experience that inspired real human emotions.

We generated (dozens/hundreds/tons) of impressions. Click through rates were through the roof. Digital and physical engagements led to real-world conversation and massive buzz. Someone, somewhere talked about it on the internet. Or at least they re-tweeted our sponsored tweet.

(Music swells. Quick cuts of people holding up cellphones and capturing your campaign ‘experience’.)

In the end, the (brand) (campaign name) did more than just advertise a product, it brought people together and created a real movement. Actually, we’re told a group of kids in the suburbs somewhere has created a religion out of our totally non-traditional campaign.

Mission accomplished.

(Fireworks explode over triple rainbows with unicorns sliding down them as every single popular song from 2015 plays simultaneously as the brand’s logo appears. Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Advertising wins again!)

Oyl Miller writes seriously about advertising in the [CTRL-C]+[CTRL-V] issue

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